


Syn-ErosThanatos - HIATUS

by AyeDreamer



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Angst, Consequences, Dark, Indenial, Jihoon likes kissing other boys, M/M, Soulmates, bond, dominantwannabejihoon, powerbottomjihoon, secretlywhippedong, side-2park, side-hwangwink, side-ongniel, side-panwink, side-winkdeep, synerosthanatos
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-26
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2018-12-19 23:28:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11908437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AyeDreamer/pseuds/AyeDreamer
Summary: Jihoon never liked the idea of "soulmates." He detested it even when he knew he was bound to have one like everybody else. Due to an ugly family history and failed romantic relationships, he promised to never let himself be chained to only one partner, especially if they were his "destined" one. So when he meets Seongwoo, his supposed "soulmate", Jihoon immediately rejected the latter's whole-being. But when the consequences of denying your soulmate come to play through "syn-erosthanatos", Jihoon enters a dilemma with his wavering promise he tries so hard to keep. Meanwhile, Seongwoo's hopes and wishes to be happily tied with his soulmate continues to be trampled on until he isn't sure anymore if he can keep waiting for Jihoon to finally make up his goddamn mind.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> [hashtag] Happy_ONGDay  
> First time writing an OngWink fanfic (a Wanna One fanfic actually). It amuses me how I ended up posting this one when I have two NielWink drafts on my .docs and a 2Park one on the way.  
> \- Hardcore Jihoon stan who pretty much loves all of his ships.
> 
> I'm here just testing waters. And if I get a good response, I guess I'm going to dedicate myself into writing this one.  
> It won't be long once I drop a NielWink one tho. My other story is just itching to be posted. I'm not into writing multi-chaptered fanfictions but I can see this one befitting the style.
> 
> Happy reading!

**AyeDreamer's Dictionary**

**created by me, myself and I**

Definition-

 **Syn-ErosThanatos** : a painful syndrome acting as the consequences

for slowly **killing** your _destined_ loved one

in order to obtain a **broken** bond

;;

 

It stung.

His wrist stung like hell.

Feeling like a queen bee just sucked his blood then left his skin to swell into an unwelcomed, gigantic bump.

His eyes widened at the comparison. This was the feeling his mother had explained to him when he was young. The atrocious feeling of meeting the "one" . . . your "soulmate".

Dark-brown eyes moved everywhere; to see if he can spot another figure hunched over in pain and in _realization_. Despite the numbers of bodies in the tight room, 20, 30, 40, no 101 bodies, yet he still spotted him.

Jihoon spotted him.

From all the way across the room is an older boy, dressed in the exact same uniform as him with one of the sharpest nose he has ever seen, thin lips and clear eyes... This was his soul-

no, a **rival**.

A rival from a different company.

A rival he has never met. And would be best to not get to know.

That's what this boy will ever be to him.

Looking away, Jihoon regained composure and acted like nothing happened. Acted like for the first time in his 18 years of age, he did NOT find his destined partner in some kind of survival show he participated in out of whim.

He wanted to keep it a secret. He wanted to bury this secret down to his grave.

Hopefully, the other party felt the same way.

Jihoon refuses to indulge anyone who believes in destiny. Because unlike the rest of the people who believes in bonded partners, he despised the idea of "soulmates" more than anything in the world. And he was going to keep it that way.

 

**_Ong Seongwoo_ **

 

It was written on his wrist.

How badly he wanted to rub it off.

 


	2. Chapter 2

When the boy Seongwoo liked ended up dating someone else (which happened to be a girl), it crushed his still-naive heart. It's not that he preferred boys; he was mutual to both genders, but at the age of 12, he considered that boy as his first love. Unfortunately, it happened to be an unrequited one.

He had cried so much that day to his mother, telling her how much he liked the boy but had to suffer an early rejection before he could even consider admitting his feelings. His mother could only pat him on the back and comfort him with her warm hugs before saying, "It's okay, my little Ong~ Even if you get your heart broken now, it is only temporary until you meet your soulmate."

With a sniff, he looked up at his mother and asked, "M-my soulmate? Who are they?"

"A soulmate is someone you are destined to happily spend your life with in the future. They are someone who will not hurt you, but only love you and treasure you because you are both connected in mind and body. It's like with me and your father. We love each other very much and can't imagine being separated from one another. We even had you."

"So I'll have someone like you have Father? My half?"

The confirmation he received through a simple nod had stopped his tears from falling.

He had a _half_.

Someone across the world is a half to _complete_ him.

And the day finally came.

****

**_Park Jihoon_ **

 

A smile lit up Seongwoo's lips.

After finding out about the concept of "soulmates" and knowing he was secretly tied to someone somewhere, he had become more confident in himself -- because it assured him that no matter how horrifiying his love relationships may come to be, there is a happily ever after waiting for him at the end of the storm. There's someone out there who he is destined to delightedly spend the rest of his life with.

He even wondered and thought hard about them. For instance, what might his destined partner look like?

Would they be shorter than him? Speak Korean like him? Be bubbly? A book-worm perhaps?

Because Seongwoo would really like it if he's soulmate was tiny, cute, with pretty eyes and very much into him.

But then again, whoever he or she was, Seongwoo knows he would love them no matter what.

Because he believed in his soulmate, and the yet-to-bloom bond that they have.

 

His head whipped from left to right. In anticipation, he looked for any suspicious figure that may be in a similar predicament as him with searching for their found "right one." After years of waiting in suspense, his destined partner now has a name. P a r k J i h o o n.

So where was he?

A sudden tug at his heart made him look into the direction to his left. It was telling him look there. To go there-

"Attention everyone!" a female staff cut through his thoughts. "We will now be letting all of you into the main broadcasting studio. Please settle down and patiently wait for your turn. There are 101 of you, so it would be much appreciated if you all willingly cooperate with us."

"Yes!" every trainee replied.

He would see him later, Seongwoo thought with a grin.

His heart skipped a beat in agreement. Soon.

 

\--

 

Seongwoo's eyes automatically glued to where a younger-looking boy sat. Dressed in a matching Turbo outfit with another two and sitting on the far left side of a three-person team.

It has to be him.

Park Jihoon.

He's the most beautiful boy he has ever seen.

His chocolate-coloured hair looked smooth enough to pet. His eyes were sparkling as if they held an entire galaxy within them. Those nose were the cutest nose Seongwoo had every laid his eyes on and those lips that were rosy tinted just asked to be kissed by him.

This person here is Seongwoo's very own soulmate!

As subtle as he could be, Seongwoo shot the boy a shy smile expecting the same giddy reaction he was feeling at that moment.

However, and almost abruptly, the boy quickly turned his head to the side with a _scowl_. Looking quite annoyed..?

Immediately, the action wiped the smile off of Seongwoo's face.

_Th-that's weird. Why did he react like that? Are we not each other's soulmates?_

_Maybe he didn't see_ _me_...

  

\--

 

He's staring at me.

He's staring at me.

What the hell.

_Idiot! Act like you hadn't recognized me!_

 

"Jihoon? Are you okay?" I felt a tap on my shoulder and responded with a turn to see my best friend, Kwon Hyeop, looking at me with worry.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I shrugged. "Just a second late stage fright."

He shook his head then chuckled. "You're the last person I know on Earth who would be nervous of their skills. It's not like you. But I guess I understand, I mean, I'm here trying my best to stop my knees from shaking. I'm barely succeeding!" He whined while I laughed in return.

I placed a hand on one of his shivering thighs and gave it a gentle pat. "There, there, Hyeop. No need to be nervous when I'm right here."

And when he stuck his tongue out after I shot him a cheesy wink, I expected it.

But what I did not expect is for a sudden **menacing** aura to invade its way through my personal space that made me jerk back in surprise.

Without a second thought, I pulled my hand away from my best friend and curled into my seat in discomfort. Then I looked at **him.** My other half, whom I refused to acknowledge only a minute ago.

There, is where I met him staring at me with equal shock.

 

Did he-?

* * *

 

     Did I-?

      **Seongwoo** gulped.

     Did I just get angry at seeing my soulmate lay their hand on someone's thigh..?

     Then unconsciously projected that feeling to him just now?

_Thump Thump_

     Jihoon clutched a hand at his shirt, right where his heart was located as he felt the organ throb in a hasten pace.

He couldn't help but **whimper**.

He had made his soulmate upset.

And it angered him.

With double meaning he didn't knew was possible.

It angered him that he had caused his soulmate to already be on guard, especially at a very sensitive state where their names are still fresh from their carvings.

And angry at the fact that he has to feel this way all because of this soulmate curse -- which just so happen to result in Jihoon having to now deal with a very  **territorial**  partner in place.

 

**This is why I never wanted to meet my soulmate.**

 


	3. Chapter 3

Seongwoo was a trained actor.

He cleared his throat, stood tall then walked to a vacant seat.  
If his soulmate refuses to acknowledge him, then fine.  
He can play along.

  
Even though it made him feel uneasy. And even when all he wanted to do was to rush to his soulmate and hug him, because damn, the characteristics he hoped for his destined partner to have, all nearly came true.

"[ Because Seongwoo would really like it if he's soulmate was tiny, cute, with pretty eyes and very much into him. ]"

  
Jihoon was tiny, cute, and had such pretty dark-brown eyes that looked like they held an entire galaxy within them!  
The last part on his list though, he cannot fully confirm. Not when Jihoon didn't look at him the same way Seongwoo did.  
It left a bitter taste in his mouth.

  
_...very much into him._  
Seongwoo could only hope.

 

\--

 

First meetings are often described to be the "best" feeling for soulmates. But Park Jihoon, being a non-believer, clearly thinks otherwise. First meetings are the WORST.

The strong pull of their red fated strings was infuriating. It kept tugging him to go near his soulmate as if it was some mal-nourished dog begging for his sweet treat or some skinny rat ready to jump at the sight of cheese despite knowing that it's bait on top of a monstrous cheese-trap. The string was desperate. This whole soulmate meeting was toxic; a curse.  
His head was occupied with too many images of luscious black hair, unfamiliar yet somehow familiar eyes...replaying over and over again. His heart wouldn't stop beating, his throat dry and his hands clammy from the need to touch, to feel, in desire of one person. An Ong Seongwoo.

  
"Ow!" a voice cut me off my thoughts which brought me back to reality. "D-Did you just bite my tongue?"

  
Right, I forgot.  
I'm hiding inside a closet room with one of the prettiest boy I've ever seen. Snatched him quick into this cramped space, slammed him against the wall and proceeded to shove my tongue down his throat.

  
Instead of apologizing, because damn to hell will you hear me apologize for making someone think I'm a bad kisser, I roamed my hands all over his thighs and hips before giving his tongue another tug (a gentle one this time). "I like it rough," I mumbled against his lips. "Probably should've asked you first though."

  
He hummed in response as we continued our tug-of-wars with tongue. It was the only way to distract myself. And if I got a little rougher than I intended during this make-out session, it was because of the gnawing feeling at my wrist.

  
Stupid wrist was calling to my soulmate.

Fucking, screw you!

* * *

Look, I don't kiss then run off.

His name is Jinyoung. He auditioned to the program by himself and had no one to else to really talk to. Hyeop, Jongyeon and I had separated into our ranks' D, A and C dorm respectively. We had a few hours of break to get settled in and unpack our things when I bumped into Jinyoung on the way to the bathroom. Because of the wrist's extreme agitation, I did what I had to.  
Jinyoung was perplexed afterwards and this is where I apologized because I admit, it was a pretty ass move for a stranger like me to suddenly start kissing him out of nowhere.

  
"I'm Park Jihoon by the way."

  
"I-I'm Bae Jinyoung."

  
To take responsibility, I walked him to his dorm room and even helped him unpack.

  
Randomly, when I joked about seeing his Poliwag boxer and he gave me the biggest smile and cutest laugh I had seen from him yet, I knew, we were going to be the best of friends.

 

* * *

 **Seongwoo immediately slammed the door to the bathroom.**  
He pulled his sleeves up from his left wrist and inspected the glowing-red of his soulmate's name.

  
What. The. Hell. Did. He. Do.

 

Here's the thing:

Usually when people meet their soulmates, not only does the red string of fate (only visible to partners) acquire a stronger pull towards each other, they also have to connect their names or simply intertwine their hand with their partner in order for the recognition ritual to pass on.

It signifies the "beginning" of two soulmates' bond as their names _touch_.

Through that touch is where you suddenly become more aware of your partner emotionally and start to empathize with their feelings. Whether they are feeling distressed or angry, you will immediately know and as if on reflex, you will do everything you can to be with them and comfort them.

 

 

_Almost 12 hours have passed since Jihoon and Seongwoo's meeting._

Normally, soulmates in their first meetings would have their names recognize each other within a few hours (or minutes) that have come to pass.

As long as the recognition ritual has not been acknowledged before 24 hours since the two lovers' encounter, they are expected to go through the beginning stage of the **syn-erosthanatos** syndrome.

This syndrome consists of **SIX stages** that moves up a level after the previous one has been triggered. Ultimately, the result ends with a **broken bond** , or even **death** once all stages have been activated by one or both soulmates.

 

{ **Stage** **1** : is when you feel a gnawing feeling on your wrist. }

 

Seongwoo was desperate.

The clawing pain at his skin was horrendous.

He knew where his soulmate was, but the boy was determined to run away from him. The string had been pulling him everywhere. From the lounge, to the parking lot to the fourth floor bathroom to the farthest dance studio in the building...Jihoon would take the elevator or the staircase, running around the place just to avoid him.

When every trainee was called out to one room where they were introduced to the song "Nayana!". Jihoon had shot him the dirtiest look he could give to stop him in place because they both knew, if Seongwoo lost his patience, he would flung himself to Jihoon and give every trainee and even the trainers a good show. This survival program be damn!

He needed to have his name recognize Jihoon's name!

* * *

Time was ticking.

 

Seongwoo was aware of the recognition ritual needing to be under 24 hours to be on the _safe_ side. The only circumstances for soulmates to not pass the ritual is when one of their partners unluckily get into an accident. But if the person survives, Fate was kind enough to give you a pass as both soulmates did try to meet. The only other case and worst scenario would be if one decides to avoid their soulmate like the plague. Then they pursue syn-erosthanatos. He knows about it, and he hates its very being. It's the mere proof that **bonds can** **be broken**.

But broken-bonded people were a minority group. Seongwoo had read stories, very few, but he was forced to acknowledge that they existed; that there were actual people in the world who had rejected their soulmates and now live alone with a hole in their heart.

He didn't understand those kinds of people. Breaking a bond just to live like an empty shell when they could have made each other happy.

Seongwoo definitely did not want an ending like that so he chased.

He chased after Jihoon; his very stubborn soulmate.

 

 

_Almost 18 hours have passed since Jihoon and Seongwoo's meeting._

 

 

Seongwoo couldn't sleep. One of the guards had found him roaming around the building and angrily made him go back to his room. And when he thought he could wait for an hour before trying again, the guard had positioned himself in front of his door in look-out for him. Just his luck.

Lying awake in his thin sleeping-wear, he tried to imagine a virtual clock and how it counts down.

He badly needed to see Jihoon. That's all he could think of.

At some point however, his sleepiness won over his troubled mind until he couldn't feel his throbbing wrist anymore. It had been an exhausting day.

For now, he just... let it be.

 

 

_Almost 23 hours have passed since Jihoon and Seongwoo's meeting._

 

* * *

Jihoon learned this trick from a book and from a heavy research online. Since many people were against the idea of breaking bonds, finding something and even doing something like this was kind of **taboo**.

He had wrapped a gauze around his right wrist. Particularly over the carving of Ong Seongwoo's name. He had read it somewhere that if he covers the name tight enough, the strength of their pull would lessen. And if dabbed in alcohol, his scent would become feint.  

One condition of doing this however is that, this will mostly only work during the first meeting when you want to fail the recognition ritual. So at the 23 hour mark, when Jihoon thought he was safe and that he didn't have to go through all this soulmate bullshit, he did **not** expect Ong Seongwoo to burst into his dorm room, kick his confused roommates out of their room and have him pinned against the mattress.

 

"Why are you avoiding me?" Seongwoo asked in anger.

 

\--

 

So this is the part where Jihoon forgot that even though Seongwoo woke up in frantic at barely sensing his soulmate, why did he not think that the first place Seongwoo would immediately check into would be his room?

     

**Jihoon**

My heart is about to explode!

It's not fair. Why am I reacting to him like this?

Why do I suddenly have to feel something for someone I haven't even formally met?

This is merely a curse.

I don't understand how anyone can be happy to have destiny play them by their hands as to already choose your partner for you.

And why him?

Why an Ong Seongwoo..?

This is me having a mental breakdown as I look up at the most mesmerizing eyes I have ever had the chance to meeting in my 18 years of life.

He had black-bold irises which can be considered bigger than normal, and were clear as a glass mirror as I see my surprised face in detail from its reflection. As my eyes wander all over his face, I came to spot three moles above his right cheek bone that if connected would make a shape of a triangle, and it made him look more sexier than ever.

But of course, it did not escape my mind even for a second that these sexy eyes directed at me were in the form of a very angry gaze.

 

"Why are you avoiding me?"

 

It's too early for this. Getting out from the shower and peacefully sitting on my bed to wait for the 24 hour mark to lock-in so I can escape the grasp of my soulmate, now had me under that said soulmate in a position my mind disapproves yet nonetheless my body definitely welcomes.

I honestly did not know where to begin, nor did I know how to respond.

Because how do you just tell your soulmate that you were never interested in them in the first place? That you hated even the mere thought of them?

"You have my name?" he questioned, almost unsure; and in doubt that someone like me truly is his soulmate. To confirm his point, he tugged my right sleeve down and saw the carving of his name: 'Ong Seongwoo.' Therefore in dejection he asked, "Then why?"

 

Wetting my lips, I opened my mouth to answer. I had to say it.

 

"I don't believe in soulmates.

I'm sorry but please, let me go.

You deserve better."

 

 

_Almost 24 hours have passed since Jihoon and Seongwoo's meeting._

_Almost 24 hours._

_Almos-_

 

"I can't.

Even if you don't believe,"

 

     Slowly,

Seongwoo slid his hand all the way to meet Jihoon's small yet soft palm.

He intertwined their fingers together in a tight grasp...

     brought them to his lips before planting a gentle kiss on Jihoon's smooth skin.

 

"-I believed in you all my life."

 

They passed the recognition ritual.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the lovely comments :) I appreciate each and every one of them as they encourage me to write this fic and update quickly!  
> ONGWINK is rising nowadays :O I'm happy haha
> 
> [next update] - will be later than expected as school is starting tomorrow but I will really try my best to update as fast as I can bcos I can't wait to write all the scenes I have planned ;__; I have a short draft and outline for this story up to its ending LOL It's the details and writing style that is making me take a long time to write this fic hu-hu 
> 
> Do leave a comment and tell me what you think so far! I reply!


	4. Chapter 4

**"Get off me."**

Jihoon spat angrily as he pushed his Seongwoo aggressively off of him.

"Look, I don't care about what you say or if you believe in this soulmate bullshit, I don't and I refuse to be tied to you."

Seongwoo fell on his butt at the extreme reaction. He didn't expect the younger boy to shove him so hard and with a short yelp, he couldn't help the frown that traced his lips. Jihoon rejected him again.

"Don't approach me if you know what's good for you." And as if proving his point, Jihoon took out a red marker underneath his pillow. How Jihoon had that hidden there, Seongwoo would never know. But what he does know is where Jihoon intended to use the item for. 

His stomach instantly curled in distress.

In the most crucifying sight, Jihoon drew a red line across the inked name, Ong Seongwoo, on his wrist. It was the biggest taboo among soulmates. If someone crosses his or her partner's name with a red marker, it signified the decision to dispose of one's bond. It signified betrayal and loss in faith.

Passing the recognition ritual no longer mattered. This was bigger than the first base of the soulmate ritual. This was a decision out of haste, out of recklessness, but Seongwoo was convinced Jihoon already made up his mind to do this a long time ago before they even met. But what he didn't understand was why.

Why did it have to be him on the receiving end of this humilation? Why did a non-believer have to be his soulmate?

Because it was decided. Seongwoo is not who Jihoon believes is the right person for him. That Seongwoo's existence isn't worth anything to him.

The decision prompted the preparation for death.

And once again, syn-erosthanatos was _reactivated_.

"J-Jihoon...?"

Seongwoo couldn't believe his eyes. His head began ranging in fear. A terrifying chill slithered up his body. A much stronger and burning sensation enveloped his pale wrist-- gnawing, clawing, and tearing. He felt a thousand pound of weight flop on his back, leading him to press his face and limbs flat on the cold surface of the floor.  

The door slammed open but he couldn't hear the words spilling from Woodam's mouth. "Why did you lock us out of our room, dude!? Not cool! I know this is a competition but- hey, are you listening?! Why are you on the floor? Hey, man! Speak up! Are you-" "Fuck, he fainted! Someone call the staff! We need- Jihoon?! Don't just sit there, man! Help us! Kenta, get-"

"I'm on it!"

While everyone in the room panicked to get medical assistance, Jihoon remained unmoving on his bed. It was feint but it was there. The bond urged him to go to Seongwoo's side and to check on his destined partner's condition. But he could resist the force compared to before. He could do it. He could break their bond just like he hoped for. He would be free, and Seongwoo-

Seongwoo is better off without him.

* * *

Jihoon could feel every staff's eyes on him as he entered the medical room. He didn't have to guess to know that all of them watched what happened between him and Seongwoo through the recordings of the cameras planted in his dorm room.

There were no rules about non-believers being forbidden to join their survival show. No rules about bond-breaking being present in their filming location either. Mostly because no one expected they would happen in the first place. In other words, the staffs could not just boot Jihoon out of the program. They would be criticized by Jihoon's fellow non-believers and jeopardize the (already small) reputation they have, as well as their viewer rating.

However, they could do it if Seongwoo asks them to by acting as the tragic victim in a star-crossed lover situation and help exaggerate their story as need be. He could give them permission to release the horrible clip to the viewers and make a demon image out of Jihoon so that even non-believers would have little to no say.

Seongwoo opposed to the idea. "It's not needed."

The staffs were shocked and were candidly displeased with his decision.

Jihoon tried not to feel relieved or thankful. Even if it seemed like all he had been doing was avoid his soulmate all week, he had actually been spending his free time alone practicing the dance to Nayana over and over again in hopes of receiving a higher grade than C. It was his dream to become an idol and it would have infuriated him if his partner chose to interfere with his goal.

The staffs clicked their tongue at Jihoon as they one by one exited the room. His screen-time was unquestionably going to be more or so non-existent from now on. So he had to think of a way to get noticed somehow.

"Jihoon," his soulmate softly called out which snapped him out of his thoughts. But he couldn't bear to hear Seongwoo's voice. Not when Seongwoo called his name while trembling. He couldn't face him so Jihoon turned around without a word with means of leaving the room. "Jihoon, please-"

The door shut close.

Jihoon's heart, too, remained close.

And Seongwoo had to bite his lip from crying out in broken misery.

* * *

"That red line on your wrist," Jinyoung pointed, "you're a non-believer?" 

The two were taking a break from practice by sitting at the corner of the dance studio. Re-evaluation is tomorrow and both wanted to get recognized for their efforts.

Jihoon merely shrugged as he wiped the sweat dripping across his neck with a towel. "Problem?"

Every time someone asked him that question, Jihoon would receive the nastiest look one could muster. The majority of people despised non-believers like him and labelled them as the biggest trash in the world. Why wouldn't they when non-believers intended to hurt their innocent lovers without a care in the world? They were known to be selfish and cruel.

Jihoon liked to believe otherwise. There were non-believers who broke bonds in oder to save their partners from the monsters non-believers sees themselves as. Those who don't know how to love nor know how to treasure love didn't deserve to have a soulmate. Jihoon was one of them.

"No, not when I'm just like you."

You know what, that was probably the most attractive sentence Jinyoung has ever said—and it definitely deserved a hot make-out session.

* * *

Jihoon's 14th year of age can be described as a year of many firsts.

First time being in love. First time going on a date. First time having a girlfriend. First time kissing someone on the lips. First time skipping class. But most importantly, it was his first time getting his heart broken.

His girlfriend cheated on him with his best friend. Tried to, actually. Woojin told him how his girlfriend was hitting on his busan friend behind his back who didn't know Woojin was gay to ever reciprocate her advances.

Jihoon had been angry. And felt toyed.

One afternoon, he texted his girlfriend to meet him after school at an empty classroom. His girlfriend agreed but what she didn't expect to see was Jihoon pulling Woojin by the collar and pressing his lips against his best friend's soft ones. He kissed Woojin hard and with so much intensity that he could barely breathe for air. His girlfriend had been horrified and ran frantically away from the sight.

Jihoon couldn't stop. Not like Woojin let him either. And that was the day Jihoon realized that he definitely swung the other way as well.

Woojin was his first ever _boy_ friend.

But certainly not his last.

* * *

**Stage** **2** : is when you start experiencing "falling" nightmares.

Seongwoo was scared to close his eyes and to let sleep take over him. The last few times he tried it, he ended up having the same nightmare each time. A falling nightmare.

His figure continued to fall in some kind of black-hole was never ending. It made his body shake in fear and would sooner or later creep to break his mind.

Yet he had to stay strong. He couldn't give up on Jihoon so easily. He refused to. He may not mean anything to Jihoon, but Jihoon means everything to him.

They were each other's soulmates. They were destined to be together.

Unconsciously, his fingers softly traced his bandaged wrist. The doctor explained to him earlier that they had to cover up his soulmate's name and halt the pulling of their string in order to weaken the pain being inflicted upon his body.

He hoped to change Jihoon's mind. He needed to convince him to accept the older man as his destined partner.

Even if that meant Seongwoo has to risk his life trying. 

_I'll prove to Jihoon that Fate made no mistake in pairing us together._

The next time a nurse came by to his room, Seongwoo asked for a sleeping pill. No nightmare will scare him off from wanting to be with Jihoon. His heart wants nobody else.

* * *

"They're staring."

Jinyoung and Jihoon were glued to the hips. You can't see one without the other even though Jinyoung went to rank F and Jihoon went to rank B. They were at the filming location for their first ever public performance of Nayana.

A few awaiting audience outside had walked up to them to compliment their looks. The feeling was foreign but nonetheless flattering. However, the atmosphere immediately grew cold as they stepped inside the building.

The other trainees weren't subtle in expressing their dislike towards Jihoon. They heard about what happened to Ong Seongwoo and rumours of Jihoon hurting the older lad in some way that got him sent to the clinic spread like wildfire. No one (even the judges) knew it was because of the effect of syn-erosthanatos other than the staffs who watched the clip, along with Seongwoo and Jihoon of course. Although, Jinyoung probably got the idea. It was treated as a rough fight that had Jihoon winning and being labeled as dangerous and someone you shouldn't mess with among the trainees.

"Ignore them," said Jihoon.

"I can't. Those two guys by the lift have been staring at you for more than five minutes. It's annoying."

"Their eyes will tire out sooner or later."

"Do you want me to say something?"

Came a snort. "I can fight my own battles. Besides, I'm not really that bothered."

"One of them just rolled their eyes at you, I'm gonna murder-"

Jihoon only laughed. "Jinyoung, stop exaggerating."

"Or what?" 

"Or I'll kiss you."

"Do it. Let's give them a show."

The younger man recieved a knock on the head. "Idiot. If we make out here, our hair and make up will be ruined for the performance."

"I bet the audience would like that."

"Shut up."

The two smiled at each other before something caught Jinyoung's eyes again behind Jihoon's back. "By the way, there's another person staring at us. But I can't tell if he's glaring at you or me..? Never met him though."

"What's he look like?"

"Tall, handsome. Looks more like a model than a trainee to me. Ah, I think he's from Fantagio!"

"...That's Seongwoo."

"...The guy you sent to the hospital?" Jihoon glared in reaction so Jinyoung continued. "What? You never really did tell me what happened."

"I thought you'd know by now."

"I can guess."

Silence. 

With a sigh, Jinyoung said, "So that's him. The soulmate you decided to throw away."

Seongwoo was still staring. Jihoon can feel those black, clear eyes burning through his back. So he shamelessly suggested, "If I kiss you right now, will that turn me into an asshole?"

Jinyoung scoffed, "Yes. But non-believers have always been seen as assholes. Will it make a difference?"

"No," and so Jihoon pulled the younger man's head down for their lips to meet.

Seongwoo couldn't believe it. He was seeing it, but refused to believe it was real. Because despite their continuous shortcomings, this was probably the most painful thing Seongwoo has ever seen Jihoon do to him. 

_Do you hate my existence this much?!_

He wanted to yell.

He wanted to rip the arms of the man that clung onto his soulmate.

But he had no courage to do so, and opted to simply turn away.

_Maybe Fate did make a mistake about us._


End file.
